My Preciousssssssssss…

My FIL watches my son during the day and is a lovely Manny, but a tad too overprotective. We had dinner at their house this weekend, and DS sat at the end of the table in his booster seat next to me. My FIL sat across from me, so that he could move his chair closer to DS… and literally hover over him while he ate. It was completely creepy – DH agreed. We kept making jokes about it, and commenting that he doesn’t necessarily have to sit on top of DS… He just keeps sitting there, stroking his hair, looking at him, telling him what a good boy he is.

Ugh, I’m completely creeping myself out! DH said his Dad was like that when he was growing up too – he’s just so smothering. Before DS could walk, FIL would crawl OVER him, like a weird shadow. He’s like the anti-Gollum: Overly shmoopy, hovering… “My leeeeeetle baaaaaby… What a gooooooood leeeeeeetle boy you arrrrrrrrrre…… Grandpa looooooooves youuuuuuu…”

I took my son to a gym class today (usually his grandpa takes him). One of the other mothers approached me and asked “Is that his grandfather who usually brings your son?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I took some time off from work so I could bring him today.”

She then proceeds to tell me, somewhat apologetically, that DS seems like such a good boy, but FIL doesn’t let him do anything; he seems afraid that DS might get hurt. He also scolds him if he wanders away from the group (which is okay at this gym – exploration is encouraged and kids don’t HAVE to stick to the game plan). She said she felt bad “tattling” on him, but she thought it was kind of sad that DS wasn’t getting to enjoy the class.

I told DH when I got back and we agreed that I’ll take him from now on. There’s being a responsible caregiver for a child… then there’s being so overprotective and smothering that you’re stifling the child. Give the kid some room already, Pop!

Who Needs Testing?

It was Sunday morning.  Early early.  Like, 6:45 am early.  I was singing on the worship team at church for both services.  My husband and older son were hunting.  I had preplanned for my MIL to come and hang out with my 5 year old and then bring him with her to 2nd service at 10:30.  No big deal, right?  Unfortunately, wrong. 

I had to be at the church for rehearsal by 7:00.  6:55, I realize that my MIL is not coming.  I call her.  Get voicemail.  End up taking Little Boy to church with me.  The poor kid sits there, trying his best to be good for the next 4 hours.  Most of the time, he was sitting by himself while I was on stage. 

My MIL showed up for second service.  Comes up to me talking about how she forgot.  SHE FORGOT. 

She actually said to me, “you know, I’m sorry and all, but you really should have called to remind me”.  Oh gee, I didn’t realize that I needed to remind you to spend time with your grandson.  My bad. 

Little Boy really wanted to sit with her during worship in 2nd service so I let him.  When I went to collect him, she made a comment to me about how she just doesn’t understand why he can’t sit still.  Do I think maybe he should be tested for ADHD?  I told her no, that I think he was just forced to sit there for 4 1/2 hours total.  Any 5 year old would be fidgeting.  She proceeded to leave a voice mail message for my husband suggesting that we have him tested. 

Seriously?  She can bite me.

At Least She’s Consistent

My MIL forgot my husband’s birthday AND our anniversary this year.  Nothing like making your son feel like his life is important to you!

Potty Issues, Now With The Girl

You remember the SIL from the last post? 

Her daughter is in the midst of potty training. We got home from an outing and SIL asked daughter is she had to go pee. Daughter said yes. So, off to the potty they go and daughter had a toy with her. SIL puts her on the potty, hangs up a towel, and goes back in to see if daughter had gone. She hadn’t. This is the conversation:

SIL: Do you have to pee?

D:  Yes, I do

SIL (in an angry tone): Then stop playing and go

D: Ok, mommy

(waiting, waiting, waiting)

SIL (now in a p.o.’d tone): Daughter stop playing. Do you  have to poop?
It’s ok if you do

D: No mommy, I have to pee. I do (she’s kind of crying/whining at this
point)

SIL (same tone): Daughter I’m going to count to 3 if you don’t pee by
then you are getting off the potty

D(crying now): NO MOMMMMYYYYY, I have to go. I do

SIL: 1

D: Mommy I can’t go

SIL: 2

D: Mommy I have to go, I do

SIL: 2.5

D: I’m trying

SIL: 3. Ok Daughter you had your chance. I don’t want to hear in a half
hour that you have to go either.

Daughter was left crying at this point. I wanted to yell to SIL, “What the hell does it matter if she wants to sit on the pot? Nobody else has to go?! Let her play if she wants. For crying out loud, what are you the potty police?!”

We left them after the weekend and I had a good time for the most part, but I really don’t understand why my SIL has such issues with touching and hanging on the potty. It just irritated me to the core.

Potty Issues with The Boy

For the most part I like my SIL. She’s a little high strung sometimes but she usually means well. The woman can get so uptight and wrapped up in how things “should” be that it is irritating. Still, she doesn’t get on my nerves all that much.

A few weeks ago husband and I joined them on their vacation. They were vacationing near our home so we stayed with them in the rental house over the first weekend we were there. SIL has 2 kids. One of whom is an adorable little boy just under a year. As all little boys do, he loves to touch his boy parts during diaper changes. My nephews loved doing this as well, my sister let them and that was the end of it. No problems, no biggie. SIL however will not let little boy do this. When she changes him, she holds him in a bear-hug while BIL puts on the diaper or swimmer.

I thought this was insane. Poor little boy would be screaming the whole time. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t. I felt bad for little boy.

Killjoy

My SIL insisted on getting married before her brother (my husband) and finagled her wedding to be 10 weeks before ours. Approximately a year later, she announced that they were going to try and get pregnant.

We had planned to wait to get pregnant until around the 2 year mark and have even mentioned it in passing once or twice throughout the time we were engaged and early in our marriage. We found out we were pregnant on our 2 year anniversary (how’s that for timing?).

We had his family over for dinner to announce it (minus the SIL and BIL who were married and trying – they live out of state and were unable to come to the dinner). The first words out my my MIL’s mouth when we informed her that she was going to be a grandmother for the first time? “What does SIL think about this?”

It took nearly 2 hours for even one of them to say congratulations. This is the first grandchild for my MIL and of course the first niece or nephew for my 3 SIL’s (who all love children and the two who aren’t married and trying to get pregnant have been begging their sister to get pregnant pretty much since she said “I do.”).

Not Recently, I Hope

MIL: “…and he was chasing after the cutest little girl, I think she was half black. She had that old fashioned pickaninny hair with the two little pigtails at the back… you never hear that word anymore, pickaninny…”

DIL: “There’s a reason.”

MIL: “Well it was the cutest thing…”

I did get an email two weeks later, with the admission that she does “use the wrong word sometimes”. Um, yeah.

Mixed Message

I just started working one day a week teaching ESL. My baby is 6 months old, and he stays home with my DH. The day before I started work, my MIL sent me the following:

From: MIL
To: DIL
Subject: Work!!!

DIL and DS, We’ve been praying for you both as you have your first day of work—DIL with the Japanese children, and DH alone with the baby. I sure hope the baby took the bottle, or was able to nurse with mommy.

My DH tried so hard to get my DD to suck a nipple other than mine, and she refused for hours—never did take it. Didn’t have the heart to wait for extreme hunger to overtake her. We didn’t even try with the others! There’s nothing as good as mommy—and it really is a short time in life when you look at the whole. I wouldn’t have traded being home with the babies for the early months for anything. But everyone is different.

Even though you’re an almost full-time mom now, I know you have so much to offer the world, DIL, and I applaud you for getting your job— hope it goes well. Just know we are thinking of you, and hope your day went well.

Love you so, MIL

I love you too, MIL, really, but if this is ‘applauding’ I wonder what censure looks like!

Get Thee To A Baptismal

We were a week away from my son’s baptism when we got a call from my MIL.  She said that we couldn’t baptize our child because she had already done so on her own.  She apparently had a talk with the Priest from her church and he said that my son was technically already baptized. 

Her excuse was that we were taking too long (he was about four months old when WE did it).  Then when I called her and told her about how she was wrong she called everyone from her side of the family and turned everyone against us. 

So needless to say no one from my husband’s side of the family showed up.  It was a great party!!!!

I’ll See If I Can Pencil You In

My husband’s 102 year old grandmother was just moved into an assisted living facility. She has always lived on her own and has lived a very full life.

Labor day weekend we were visiting the in-laws and were planning on going to visit grandma. My kids love their great grandma and I’m thrilled that they have been able to have a relationship with her.

My mother-in-law told us that she had a schedule set up for visiting times.  We were to go at 6:30 on Saturday. Oh, and then she added: NO KIDS. My husband was furious. Apparently the MIL had been telling my sister-in-law the same thing for weeks. 

So we asked SIL what kind of condition she was in that would make it so that kids couldn’t visit. She said she is fine, just tired. So when we left at 6:30 we took the kids with us. We visited for about 15 or 20 minutes, talked about school starting and soccer. No problems. When we got back to the house my son ran up to MIL and told her that he had gone to see great-grandma! She made a horrible exasperated noise and walked away.

The next day when it was the sister-in-law’s turn on the “schedule”. MIL told her to go ahead and bring the kids. 

This may very well be my kids’ last opportunity to see and talk to their great-grandma and my husband and I weren’t about to let them miss it. 

My MIL, A Trip Down Memory Lane, If You Will

When my husband told his mom that he was going to propose to me, she asked him if he was sure I’d say yes, because really, what did he have to offer me?  Oh yes, she did. 

When she was showing me houses (she’s my realtor, naturally), she asked me if I really knew what I was in for by marrying her son.  Uh huh. 

One night after dinner, and many glasses of wine on her part, my MIL tried to get my husband to argue with her.  When he wouldn’t take the bait (cause he’s smart! and nice!), she said, “You’re just like your father, I can’t believe you found someone who loves you.”  WHAT?  Just to let you know, my husband is the nicest, sweetest man. He scoops the litter, he takes out the trash (even my gross girl trash), he makes me coffee in the morning, he feeds the dogs, he does his own laundry, he leaves me sweet notes and that’s just the beginning.  What do I do for him?  Good question.

So, I guess I have the opposite problem most people do.  My MIL treats me better than her own spawn, yet somehow manages to put me down by talking shit about the man I chose to marry.  Interesting conundrum.   

I have one question for you….WTF?

Bring It!

I have taken steps to reduce my exposure to the toxic relationship of my in-laws. As such, my own personal stories are few and far between. In-Laws Suck can only continue on life support for so long so I’m challenging each of you to provide a short story about any of your in-laws that I will post for you here.

The only other option is to let this site die a slow, painful and lonely death, and we wouldn’t wish that on our worst enemy, even if it is our MIL.

Submissions can be mailed to inlawssuck@yahoo.com.