He’s An Ass

I have never been a fan of my BIL. There are many reasons.  Like when my sister and him were dating and he stood her up on Christmas Eve.  He was supposed to come to my big family dinner at Grandma’s house but never showed.  When we called him he said he had wanted to wait until after Christmas but he had gotten back together with his ex so he just wasn’t showing up.

They have now been married for two years and my mother constantly sings his praises.  Every time I am around he shows his ass (figuratively).

On my last trip home to help my parents move, my sister got him to watch the kids on his day off so she could come over and help pack boxes, too.  When my sister returned home she found out that he had left the children home alone so he could go get tobacco from the store.  The kids are 10, 8, and a seven month old.  He claimed it was her fault because she had the car seat.

Help Me Laugh Because I Want to Cry…

Teaching my son Philosophy will turn him into an idle waster (SIL/FIL)

Investing money in shares for my child is either foolish (FIL) or prone to make him idle and lazy (MIL)

Moving out of their house will financially ruin us, since we are clearly not adult enough to budget wisely (FIL), and besides the house is ‘too large’ and ‘too expensive’ anyway (MIL)

If our only child (10 months) doesn’t sleep at night, it’s because we haven’t read the right baby sleep method book (SIL)

If a child has a temperature of 38.3degC (100.9F), he needs to be wrapped up warm so he doesn’t get cold (FIL/MIL)

You cannot resign from poorly paid/under-skilled jobs even if you have something else to go to because you have to be seen as a sticker (MIL)

Washing cannot be hung outside to dry for more than 24 hours (MIL)

What the other people in the village think is important, that’s why I have to shave everyday and our son has to go to Kindergarten in the clean, uncomfortable kindergarten and not the grubby, comfy one (MIL)

Having a 100Euro note in your wallet means you are showing off (MIL)

Parents who do not have a daily routine nailed down and set in concrete will produce wild children (SIL)

Reading books ‘isn’t so important’ (!) (FIL)

Bad things will happen to you if windows are not cleaned every week (MIL)

Taking a holiday is a ‘frivolous waste’ of money (FIL/MIL) – Hmmm…see why I need a break?

Open Letter to MIL

Dear MIL,

I realize you think your son is perfect, god’s gift to humanity, and no woman will be good enough for your angel of a first born son.

Because I love your son, I have put up with your chain smoking and the smell that goes along with it.  Although it does take me a week to get that marvelous scent out of my guest room and all the linens, you do smoke outside and wash your hands before touching the baby.  And you only visit twice a year, so I deal with it.

Perhaps your parents did not teach you that when you are a guest in someone’s home, you are to be polite and respectful.  Mine did.  No matter how much I don’t like someone, I would never presume to tell them “YOUR BEHAVIOUR IS HORRIBLE”.  Especially when I am their guest.

Incidentally, the silent treatment you gave me during your last visit could have prompted me to tell you your behaviour was horrible, but as I was brought up to be a lady and respect my elders, I decided to kill you with kindness and pretend like I didn’t notice you weren’t speaking to me or looking at me.

Your perfect son told me you “don’t know what to make of me”, you don’t like me and are certain I don’t like you.  And that I have been mean to you during all your visits.

Let’s recap:

Visit 1 – Our first meeting. I was sick with the flu by the time you arrived.  Puking my guts out for 3 straight days.  I spent your entire visit either in bed sleeping, or in the bathroom.  I doubt I
had the energy to be mean to you.  I do recall apologizing about 300 times for being sick.  I’m sure you thought I got sick on purpose ”just to be mean”, but I can assure you, the flu doesn’t work like that.

Visit #2 – If you count choosing a restaurant for lunch that sucked being mean to you, then I guess I was mean to you.  But you wouldn’t decide between 2 restaurants and neither could your perfect son, so the decision was left to me.  Obviously it is completely my fault that the sun was in our eyes, the service was slow, and the food sucked.

Visit #3 – A surprise day in New York.  Now you didn’t know your darling son would be in town, did you?  You were just thinking you’d be meeting lil’ ol’ pregnant me for lunch and shopping.  So yes, it was very mean of me to fly in your beloved son to surprise you.  Very, very mean. Also very mean of me to treat you to lunch and dinner too.

Visit #4 – My baby shower.  I had tons of family in town (including the step-family of your perfect son) for my celebration.  So forgive me if I couldn’t entertain you every second of every day. Also my mom’s dog was dying and since she had to have an emergency vet appointment DURING MY ENTIRE SHOWER WHICH SHE WAS HOSTING.  Thus, I was a little pre-occupied showing the other hosts where things were and trying to socialize and enjoy my shower all at the same time.

Unfortunately, after your last visit (visit #5), I told your perfect angel of a son that you are no longer welcome in my home.  I will not allow my daughter to witness such juvenile behaviour as “the silent treatment”, nor do I want her to think it’s ok to treat anyone like that.  In our house, that is not the way we solve problems.

If you would like to come visit your granddaughter, there are several hotels within 1 mile of our home, and I’m sure perfect son will be happy to shuttle you around as necessary.

Love, DIL