MIL Can’t Talk

For the record I generally get along with my MIL. I have come to terms with the fact that she is more formal than my own mother, that her sense of humor is so different from mine and dh’s, that she clearly needs to lighten up, that has a taste for frilly clothes. However, she does dole out some good advice, she has totally relaxed in some very important ways in the time that I have know her (10+ years). However, there is one thing that I cannot stand. That grates on my last nerve every time it happens.

The woman cannot pronounce very simple words or names.

Most recent example: She pronounced Joseph Biden Joseph Bidden. Holy crap. How many times has THAT name been spread across TV and radio air waves and she screwed it up! Thankfully Step-FIL corrected her (because I sure as hell wasn’t going to).

Other examples: Bacardi (as in the rum), Baracardi. BIL’s girlfriend (a bartender) at the time corrected her. Oh how we all laughed, me probably harder than the rest. Ambulance, Amblience. I have never corrected her on this one, I just let it go.

There are more I just can’t remember them right now. It drives me nuts. She has an advanced degree, she is an educated person. Why the hell can’t she pronounce the most simple of things correctly?

How About Just an Inkling of Empathy?

I recently had surgery and was diagnosed with cancer, all at once.  Everyone in the family called and sent cards, and all of my friends, coworkers, husband’s friends and coworkers, etc. etc.  My sister-in-law, however, not only has not called to asked how I am feeling or coping, she has also not sent a card.  We have had a history of getting along off and on, but my feelings are so hurt by this that I don’t see us ever getting along again.

I was trying to just let it go, but I couldn’t and decided to call and confront her about the situation.  She wasn’t home, so I left her a message that said basically I can’t believe you haven’t bothered calling, and the lie that she told my MIL about not calling me (my answering machine was broken…yeah right) couldn’t have been remotely true because I have caller id and can see anyone that calls, if they leave a message or not.  Maybe that was wrong, but I am just so hurt by this that I had to say something.

The Crazies (Part 2)

I’ll recap, my husband and I have been married  3 years, have 2 children from previous relationships, girls, both 8. And we have a 2 yr old son. We have a great relationship. The problem is his side of the family. While we have evolved into a family of 5, still cannot seem to accept this fact.

They will not stop favoring my husband’s daughter, she is not the only grandchild, either. There are 3 from my husband’s brother.  But they constantly are buying her gifts, sending them to her house, not for any special occasion, just because she asks!  They don’t do this for any of the other kids. My husband and I have asked repeatedly for it to stop.

In January I wrote my inlaws a letter, I was fed up with watching my husband sick over the way his parents constantly disrespected him and would go against any of his wishes and spoil his daughter.  That letter didn’t go over so well! (didn’t think it would!) I of course was blamed for everything, I’m a master manipulator, trying to brainwash my husband, I need a lobotomy, all sorts of insults.  Not actually said to me, filtered thru my husband, since they won’t talk to me.

Fast forward to today. Stepdaughter has been here the whole summer. Today I let the inlaws take her for the afternoon (note they didn’t want to see my other kids). I met them at the mall, and left MIL with the simple request DO NOT BUY HER ANYTHING! She doesn’t need stuffed animals, etc…. Yes, so 5 minutes after I left, they went to build a bear and got her a bear, 3 stuffed animals, and a bunch of other stuff!  Then told her to “keep it quiet” ie. Don’t tell me.  Well, I found out, and finally told MIL off.  And she calls and leaves this insane message on my machine (and my husband’s work phone) about how we are crazy and they are grandparents and they can buy whatever they want, whenever they want. And that we blow everything out of proportion, blah blah blah.

I’m at a loss, hubby works out of town, I’m alone with the kids, and I have to deal with MIL and FIL (who hates me more than MIL).

My goodness..how blind are they to see this is not about stuffed animals, it’s about respect!

I know I’m right, in that I can ask that they respect our wishes in not buying things for our kids unless it’s a special occasion??? Right?