ACHOOOoooo!

I’ve mentioned it before, but each Christmas, which is the only time of the year I spend more than 30 minutes in my MIL & FIL’s house, it bears repeating or else I’ll end up taking it out on my husband.

I have allergies to anything with hair, e.g. cats. My husband’s parents have two, both long hair.

Now my allergies aren’t just your sniffling, sneezing kind of allergies so for those who may feel inclined to tell me to take a benadryl and suck it up, that doesn’t work, but thanks for the assvice.

No, my allergic reaction is first the sniffling, sneezing followed by the wheezing because it triggers my asthma. Such severe asthma that I’ve had to have my husband take me to the ER on more than one occasion and has even earned me an overnight stay in the hospital.

I also took some allergy medicine to buy me some time, but within an hour of being at my in-laws, I was sneezing. My MIL asks me if I have a cold.

No, allergies, I replied.

Really? I didn’t know you had allergies.

All I could do is stare at her. She’s known me for almost 17 years. The one cat she has is one we gave her because no matter how many shots or how much medication I took, I just couldn’t have that cat in our own house and MIL willingly took her under her own wing.

How could she not know?!

Also, putting your animals outside or in the basement or in the bedroom does not alleviate the allergens already in the home. It drives me crazy when my SIL can’t understand why I keep having a reaction even though the cats are in another room.

What’s In A Name?

Alright, I’ve been meaning to get this one off my chest for a while now, but have to preface that my in-laws are most of the time “OK” people. They mean well, but at times FIL can be incredibly self-centered and rude.

It took my husband and me a long time and quite a bit of money to get pregnant. It was a difficult time for us filled with lots of disappointment (which my in-laws just didn’t get). During our final try of IVF we got lucky. I mean really, really, really lucky. We became pregnant with triplets. We were thrilled, but cautious. We knew that triplet pregnancies were high risk. We spent a lot of time preparing our families and friends for an almost inevitable NICU stay when the babies arrived.

Unfortunately I did end up getting very sick and delivered 2 and ½ months prematurely. Our babies were so tiny. They went straight to the NICU where we went through some very rocky moments including a 6:00 am phone call from the doctors telling us that one of our daughters was not doing well. A conventional ventilator was not enough. She had to be hooked to an oscillator, a very heavy duty vent causing her chest to vibrate rapidly- one of the scariest things I have ever witnessed. It was a horrible, horrible time. DH and I were terrified for the health of our children.

So when 2 days later the phone rang at 6:00 am again, I started to shake. I couldn’t breathe fearing the absolute worst. Thankfully it was not the doctors calling again, but instead my in-laws. My self-centered FIL called at 6:00 am while our sweet, less than a week old babies were still in danger to let us know how much he and MIL hatedour choice in middle names and how could we be so cruel to not name even one of the babies after them. Nope FIL didn’t even bother to ask how our precious babies were doing!

Yes my in-laws were more concerned about our babies’ names than our babies’ health. I should also mention that my in-laws didn’t bother to come visit the babies for almost a month. Why? Because they had a vacation planned and couldn’t be bothered to drive 3 hours (just 3 measly hours!) out of their way to meet their grandchildren and support their son during a very scary time. Did I also mention that these in-laws have one other grandchild and that grandchild is already named after my MIL? Later in the day when my DH was more alert, he left a message for FIL explaining how totally inappropriate his call had been and demanding an apology, but my FIL never bothered to  respond and DH and I were too occupied with more important things than to bring it up again.

It’s been almost 2 years and our three babies toddlers are doing absolutely fabulous. No health problems or developmental delays whatsoever! But I still get angry thinking about my idiot in-laws. I spent so much time finding very meaningful middle names for my children and now every time I say them aloud I am reminded of that ridiculous and hurtful early morning phone call!

Happy Thanksgiving

We drove 2 1/2 hours on the Friday after Thanksgiving to spend some time with my in-laws.  We got to their house at around 6 pm on Friday.  The next day we took the kids to a local historical/tourist place and spent more than half the day there having a great time. 

Oh, did I mention that the in-laws didn’t come with us? 

They weren’t even at their house until Saturday at 3 o’clock.  They had stayed Friday night at their cottage an hour away and spent Saturday morning shopping (instead of with their grand kids).  They knew we were at their house, they just didn’t bother to come home.  

We wanted to leave around 4 or 5 on Sunday due to the snow and heavy traffic.  About 15 minutes before we left my SIL, her husband and their two kids finally showed up because the was a “mis-communication” about time.  They live only 20 minutes away.  They said “are you leaving already?” like they forgot we have a 2 1/2 hour drive. 

I’m so glad we went.

WANTED: Good People to Adopt as In-Laws

I should run an ad in the local paper for a new set of inlaws.

Honestly, anyone would be better than the ones I have now.

I have been married 17 years to a wonderful man. He is my best friend. We never fight and agree on almost everything.

But we have drawn a line in the sand with his mother and stepdad.

This woman has known me since I was 5 years old. She knows my family. But insisted on calling me “that girl” the first 5 years her son and I were married. “are you bringing that girl  to dinner tonight?” What the hell?

Well, it gets better. She tells people I must have been pregnant before marriage because I was so sick all the time.

That may be because I was going through near renal failure and trying to hang on to my precious life.

We had our first child 3 years after marriage. yeah 3 years.

MIL would never help out with the baby or me after a 13 hour labor and c-section. No, she had to go to the grocery store or sit on her butt. So I never asked for anything from her after that first excuse. EVER!

My last 17 years with this woman has been hell. Between her treating my husband like trash because she hated his father (1st marriage) now she is doing it to our kids.

She has 4 grandchildren girls and 2 grandchildren boys.

I have one of each of those. We all live within a half a mile of each other and MIL lives 5 miles down the road.

Now fast forward to THIS year. My son’s birthday, she is at the local ballpark to see her #1 grandson playing ball and never calls or comes by to tell mine Happy Birthday, the entire time she is less than a mile away. Hurricane sends a tornado through our backyard. It was in the local paper which she has delivered daily and on the news. My daughter tries relentlessly to call and check on them (loving concern not reciprocated) and hears #1 grandson answer and get told “i told you not to answer that phone”. My daughter hung up angry as hell.

They eventually call weeks later to check on grandkids and claim they were coming this way to get fuel for generator the entire time and figured we must be okay. Figured?

Now today. My daughter’s birthday. They wait until late in the day to call and wish her happy birthday and tell her they can’t bring her present over today they will try and get it out here tomorrow. BUT THIS WOMAN MANAGED TO GO TO THE MALL ON BLACK FRIDAY WITH HER #1 GRANDKIDS! She doesn’t know I spotted her. I almost ran into her and recognized the back of her head. I made a uturn and got a friend to confirm identity and I went outside and waited in truck for friends. I didn’t want to make a scene at the store.

My husband and I are amazed that these people cannot only manage to make our lives HELL they are doing it to our kids. We have distanced our family from them. It hasn’t changed a thing.

My boss and his wife treat my children better than my inlaws do as they came to check on us after the hurricane. My inlaws waited 3 weeks.

I have always tried to be a good daughter in law but now I don’t care. The mayo in lasagna at Christmas, the names, the disrespect towards her child and grandkids and me is too much.

My son called her Miss ##### and I heard her say “what did you call me?”. Knowing that my son doesn’t curse I stood agape in the next room until I heard her demand to be called MawMaw ######, heck my son cannot remember her husband’s name. He says “that man that lives at daddy’s momma’s house.”

I am thankful for my dad and my husband’s dad for being good granddads and inlaws for my husband and me but this other set HAS TO GO.

I cannot take the mental abuse they are putting my kids and myself and husband through.

Wanted: New InLaws. For young family with 2 children.

Requirements: Knowledge of how to use phone to call on important dates. Ability to hug children and show affection.

Gifts are never required. Just Love. Applications being accepted immediately.

DIL in need of mental support, La.

Priming Up for the Holiday Season

We here at MILDUE hope your Thanksgiving was “relatively” painless, and while you may have only said, “Thank God!” once, and that was when you were able to put more than walking distance between yourselves and your in-laws, it still counts as Thanksgiving.

Things are slow for MILDUE so if you have any fresh memories you’d like to share, please send them to inlawssuck@yahoo.com.