“My baaaabeeeee!”

[My MIL] wailed in the bathroom at my wedding reception that she has just loooooost her baaaaaaaaaby…. 

And she rolled her eyes when my husband said he was so proud to be my man at our rehearsal dinner… 

And boy was she angry with me when I didn’t ask my SIL to be a bridesmaid…she told my then-fiance, “if your wife-to-be would have been a big enough person to ask your sister to be a BM, I had convinced her to be a big enough person to say actually say yes.” 

And at my wedding, standing there in my dress, as the Bride, I see her for the first time and say, “MIL, you look beautiful!” And she says, “thank you.” I reach out to hug her, and her hands stay firmly at her sides. 

Witch.

I wanted to XBox her in the face.

My husband and I were newly engaged and it was the week before his birthday.  Wanting to completely surprise him and knock his socks off, I decided to get him the new electronic game system he’d been coveting since it’s release, an XBox*.  I went to Best Buy on my lunch break from work and they said they apologized, but were out of the system.  More would be arriving on Sunday.  My husbands’ birthday was on Tuesday, so I decided I’d stop by on Monday, pick up the game, wrap it at work, and have it under our bed on Tuesday morning.  I envisioned waking up and telling him to look under the bed for a surprise.  He was going to be SO excited that it made me SO excited.

So Saturday arrives, and my ILs come to visit their son.  While alone in the car with them for a moment I excitedly say, “I figured out what I’m going to get J* for his birthday!  An XBox*!!”  My MIL exclaimed, “Ooooh, that’s a great gift.  We should go halves on that.” 

Huh?

I was a little dumbfounded, but figured – whatever, she’ll leave town and I’ll get the gift and if she later wants to send me half the cost or something I’ll still get to surprise J*, and that’s what matters.  Don’t make too big a deal out of it.  Even though my hands started to sweat.

Later that day, at lunch, she says in front of my husband that “we should run over to Best Buy to pick up your preeeeesent…”  At this point, I’m fuming because that was enough of a hint to have my man suspicious, but also because I knew they were out of the game system until the next day, but how do I tell her that with my husband sitting right there?  Confused, my husband looks to me…I think I asked him to pass the salt or something…my hands wringing in my lap.

Somehow it gets dropped.  As we head out to the car though, having decided that it was time for them to head home, and us to go get ready for dinner reservations we had later that night, she tells us, “hold on a sec,” gets into her purse, and starts writing a check.  Oh, okay…so maybe she’s going to give me a check to help cover the cost?  I’m still peeved that the Best Buy hint has been given, and that half my credit is gone, but again – I’m thrilled if I get to surprise him on his actual birthday three days away still.

Hand outstretched, she hands the check to J* and says, “Here!  We’re buying you an Xbox!”

His face lit up.  He hugged his mom, “Thank you SO much, mom!”  Graciously (**eye roll**), she says, “It’s from us, all of us.”  He looks at me, “Really?  Aww, thank you sweetie.”  I pathetically wimper…”They’re…umm…out of stock…umm…until Sunday…so, um, we can go tomorrow if you want…”

Everyone hugs goodbye.  We get into our car, J* hands me the check – it’s in the amount of the total cost of the Xbox*…my husband is beaming…I burst into tears.

It took several shots of Vodka, a lot of crying and explaining and wailing, and what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-that-woman-ing to get me to calm down enough to enjoy our dinner out.

I ended up having nothing to give him for his bday.  It’s been 2 years.  I’m still bitter.

He still doesn’t have an Xbox*.

* Some names have been changed to protect the innocent gaming device.

My In-Laws Are the Spawn of Satan: Chapter 3 “You love each other and that is all that counts. Oh, and his failing to give me one minute of his time.”

I think you misread what I wanted to say to you. 

1.  Son-IL could have come home for 1 minute to say hello when FIL and I came to your house. 

2.  YOU are a mother now and will want only wonderful and productive things for your son besides of course health and wisdom and success.  That is what I hoped for my children and I will ALWAYS be your mother and there when you need me…that will not change.  Unfortunately, I was embarrassed Son-IL did not have a minute to say hello to me when we came to town.  I truly hope my grandson never does that to an in law when he marries as it is hurtful….done, though. 

3.  As far as the wedding…forget it.  It will save me an airfare and an extra room.  Also, I will not bring it up again because I know you do not want to go……too much on your plate.  You will have to tell the family because I will not….too embarrassed after what LMN’s kids are pulling.  Someday when grandson gets married you will understand as his mother. 

4.  Sorry to be so blunt but I have been holding this in for a long time.  I love you, Daughter and always will…just do not like some of the things you have chosen for yourself………not Son-IL if that is what you think.  You love each other and that is all that counts.

 5.  One more thing…….I will not go out of my way for Son-IL anymore as he could not find 5 minutes for me this last trip after schlepping out to town and of course getting lost except for the fixing the computer which I paid him for. I have done more for Son-IL than the normal mother in law and I ALWAYS wind up on the wrong side of any issue. I am simply too old for the disappointment and let downs.  It is not the $$……I would sell my jewelry if you were on the street and you know that and Son-IL did not find 5 minutes to say hello so I did not need to be embarrassed.

Oh well.

I LOVE YOU AND GIVE KISSES AND HUGS TO [GRANDSON] FOR ME.  I HUNG HIS PICS ALL OVER…HE IS REALLY CUTE.

I LOVE YOU,

MOM