Dear Future Mother-in-Law:
My fiance and I are planning a small, non-religious ceremony. It is not a reflection on your son’s poor upbringing that we are not religious. It is just what we both believe and are comfortable with. So please, PLEASE, stop crossing yourself every time you see me, before you eat in my presence, and just generally whenever I’m around. I know you’re not Catholic. I’VE BEEN TO YOUR CHURCH. Also? I have noticed the recent insistence in “saying grace” before we eat any meals at your home. This kind of passive-aggressive “disappointment” does not a convert make. It only serves to further solidify my opinion that you don’t consider me a human being, but as a potential host for your future grandchilden–grandchildren that you hope will be raised in your religion. You’ve raised your son, he’s wonderful, we love each other, your work is done. Stop trying to raise me, too. My parents did a great job.
Your Future Daughter-in-Law