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you have got to have buns, hun

Ok. I have given this little morsel of inlaw fodder a few days to steep. I did not want to automatically run to the computer and post this story because … well … I just didn’t think it would be prudent. Ok. Want is not the appropriate verb here. Crap, I don’t know what I am trying to say so I better say it.

Sunday, we went to Bob Evans for lunch with the inlaws. I was at one end of the table with the Man and the Monkey, and my MIL. Ace was down by his Dad and Queen.

Whenever we order ANYthing at Bob’s, the rolls and biscuits are split up and shared.

I order the Chicken and Noodles, and it came with two dinner rolls. I knew that I would be sharing with the Man and the Monkey. Biscuits were delivered to the other end of the table. I think they were my MIL’s, but my FIL received them for some unknown reason. As soon as Queen saw the biscuits, she immediately asked him if she could have some.

He said no.

Yes. You read that right. He said no. But wait … it gets MUCH better.

The Monkey sees my rolls, and I was about ready to start buttering it. Ace then asks me if I could pass the TWO dinner rolls that were in my basket.

I thought “hey … if the selfishness worked for my FIL, it will work for me, right?”

Wrong. Dead wrong.

No you may not have them. They are mine, I replied.

Ace got a little salty. Ok. More than a little. A LOT salty.

Fine. Never mind. I just thought that we could ask for more rolls. Never mind.

All this time, the Monkey is dipping her hand in my salad, pulling out her selection of lettuce and croutons. So I was a little mad that it was assumed that I would be the one who would share my bread with everyone.

Ok. More than a little mad … a lot mad.

I looked at him and told him that I had people at my end of the table who wanted part of a roll, and that I also had one of them dipping their hand in my salad at that very moment.

So my MIL decided to take things into her own hands and offer her solution to Dinner Roll Smackdown 2006, the very last one of the year.

Her solution?

Passing MY basket of rolls down the table to her son, she stated matter-of-factly “we will BUY more rolls. Just have some.”

Oh yes she did. Yes. She did.

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