My story is this: I am pregnant. My MIL offered to throw us a baby shower. I thought that was a nice gesture and accepted. A week or so later, she invited herself over to our house and saw that we already have a crib and a stroller. She said, “It looks like you don’t need a baby shower.”
Now, I haven’t had a shower yet but a lot of nice family and friends have already bought baby gifts for us. They were excited and didn’t wait for a shower to be held. I told her that we still need about a million diapers and a diaper champ and other items. I also let her know that one of my SILs had *three* baby showers, as did my best friend from college. They had different groups of friends, family, and coworkers at each. They were also in different locations. So my MIL said she would throw us a shower after all. (She said, “You want enough stuff that we could have a shower.” Like having diapers for the baby is optional, a “want” rather than a “need.”)
When she asked who we would like to invite, and my husband and I started to give her some of the names, she said that she would have to rent a hall because we wanted to invite so many people. I told her, do NOT rent a hall, there is no need for that.
Then, before we had talked again about the guest list, my aunt offered to throw a shower. I told her that my MIL had already offered, but that we could do two smaller showers in two different towns and that would break up the guest list nicely. My aunt then said something to my MIL about throwing me a shower. That was at a holiday party at my mom’s house. My MIL came over to me at the party and expressed her displeasure that I hadn’t told my aunt that my MIL was throwing us a shower already. I told my MIL that I *had* told my aunt about my MIL offering and that I thought two smaller showers would make everyone happy. I did mention that my aunt had been out of the state up until the holiday party and maybe she hadn’t gotten my email. My aunt, who was standing right there, told my MIL that I had told her and that she had forgotten. So, that really seemed to clear things up, or so I thought.
A week later (on New Year’s Day), my MIL called me up to say how “shocked and stunned” she was that my aunt was throwing us a baby shower. I told my MIL that we had already talked about this at Christmas, but I’d explain again. I told her my idea about two smaller showers–one in one city, another in another city. Different groups of guests. She said, “Well who would I invite?” I listed the names. She kept making negative comments.
I told her that it didn’t sound like she wanted to throw us a shower. She said she didn’t want to throw us a shower anymore. Then she said I was hurting her feelings. I am pregnant, on bed rest for high blood pressure and was starting to lose my temper. I started to tell her about being on doctor’s orders to take it easy. I’m not sure how much she heard though, because she hung up on me.