When my husband and I were dating in high school, his parents hated me. Not for any other reason than the fact that I was taking their son’s time away from them. They called me a stupid slut before they even met me. They said I changed him. He was no longer a good person.
Years later after we eloped because we didn’t want to deal with his parents, I thought they started to actually like me. They made their snide remarks that I did my best to ignore. Everything blew up when my son was born. We saw how inconsiderate and mean they really were.
When we confronted them about all of our issues with them, FIL went on about how my husband had changed for the worse. A little later in the conversation, when I was fed up with my husband being bashed by his father, I said that I love him and that he is the greatest husband I could ever ask for; how he is a true gentleman and kind and sensitive and strong and etc. My FIL said, “Well you have to understand that all those things you love about him are because his mother and I instilled those values in him.”
So, wait. You gave him all of his good qualities and I gave him all his bad qualities? Maybe, just maybe, my husband evolved into the man he is today because of the relationship he has had with me for the past eight years.