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My MIL Has Never Heard of “Boundaries”

My future MIL has CLEARLY never heard of boundaries.  The first time I met her, I had to sit through an ENTIRELY SILENT dinner.  In my FH’s family, no one communicates to each other unless they’re gambling or yelling at each other.  Crazy, I know!  Anyway, after dinner, I saw that his mother was tearing up and so I politely asked her if everything was ok.  I even reached out to lightly touch her hand to show I was genuinely concerned.  She yanked her hand away, looked me FIERCELY in the face and asked, “Are you a virgin?  ARE YOU?”

Terrified, I snapped my hand back and stuffed my face with rice.  I didn’t know what to say, so I nervously allowed my eyes to dart back in her direction.  She held my gaze and stood up, more defiantly, and asked me again.  I was terrified and not knowing what to do, I looked down at my lap in shame with cheeks full of white rice that I could not swallow.  My FH nervously chuckled and said, “Of course we are…”

At this point, she had a full on nervous break down, called us liars, and accused me of “ruining” her son.  I could’ve just died right then and there.  I should’ve known back then I would never have a relationship with her.  Little did I know, this was just the TIP of my in-laws’ insane lack of respect or boundaries.


5 responses »

  1. OMG! I would have been horrifed as well. In fact, when I first met my FIL, he asked me, “What are your intentions with my son.” His son was 28 years old.

  2. dilinwisconsin

    I would have been so mortified! I would like to think I would snap back with something like “are you kidding? we had to pull over to do it on our way here”, but I know I probably would have had to leave the table and cry or throw up…or both.

  3. Don’t you wish you could have snapped back “at least till tonight, we are going to christen his childhood bed”. Good luck with that family…make sure your future hubby is sane before you take the plunge…it sounds like mom will be a total pain in the ass for years to come.

  4. I hope you really, really love your fiance, because issues with his family will plague you for the rest of this lifetime.

    How does he deal with them? Does he realize how unhealthy they are? If they are so toxic, would he consider less contact with them? Believe me, this is all stuff you want to discuss before you get married. Because it will never go away or get better.

    My very best wishes to you!

  5. OMG honey… I am so sorry. My MIL is a wonderful woman, she even helped make my wedding dress because my own mother was dead.

    If you married this man or are still going to get married, your best hope is to move away from them and never let them know if oyu have children. And when/if you do have children, please remember that day so you don’t do the same thing to your future children in law.

    Bless you, I keep you in my prayers.


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