My mother in law drives me crazy. I see her three times a week. This is not by choice.
I am not saying she was a terrible mother, I am saying she is a very different one. She smoked cigarettes and pot while she was pregnant. She was high when she delivered my husband. She took her newborn son out on rides on her motorcycle (where she merely held him against her, no restraint system for him or helmet for her). She was regularly arrested for distribution of illegal substances. She was a single mother and my husband has regular memories of spending time in places where he was in the living room and he knew she was getting laid. This was before he entered first grade.
She still smokes around my child.
I won’t let my child spend any unsupervised time alone with her.
I was thinking about moving for my job and she said wherever we moved to, she was coming as well.
She gives me advice about how to raise children. Because whatever she did, she believes worked. What it really was is that she met a very steady man when my husband turned six and that changed his life. If she was to continue on that path, she would have been a junkie and my husband would have been a junkie as well.
Thank you for having this site. This is the first time I have vented about my frustration and I do feel better.