I wasn’t married when my husband and I sat at the kitchen table and told his parents wewere pregnant. It was the 4 of us, his Mom and Dad, my husband and myself. The same kitchen table the four of us had shared many stories and meals over the last year +. At this kitchen table my mother-in-law’s response to us having a baby was “we already have 5 grandchildren”. This began her existance as the MIL in my life.
IL’s punish the DH:
When I was pregnant, the MIL and FIL insisted we stay with then during our visit. They live about 1 day’s car travel away. I had random nausea and the thought of sleeping on an air mattress and getting sick in a toilet his whole family used (BILs, 1 SIL – who hated my guts from the get go, nephews, you get the picture) did not appeal to me. I’m not very outgoing and hey, I was just outside of my comfort level, ok? Well…. they argued and argued… my husband was so upset he cried. I even asked if we could stay at his grandma’s house and that made things worse!!! Was I the villain in the horrible story?? Later after I had my first son, I thought, “God, please, if my future DIL wants to sleep in a hotel instead of our house, let me have the decency to not be offended and offer to pay for the room”
Just recalling these nasty little events may cause me to be angry at my husband tomorrow. I told my husband I didn’t want any visitors for the birth of baby #2. I had breastfeeding issues with baby#1 and it was my true heart’s desire to breastfeedbaby #2. DH did not express my wishes to ILs. They were there for 2 days after son #2’s birth. FIL told jokes while I tried to ask the nurses important questions…. MIL (has health issues) needed help going to bathroom, moving around the hospital, and even had DH prop her feet up and help adjust seat cushions while I tried to get out of bed for the first time (C-section’s kind of hurt). Completely unassisted, when I reached the bathroom I uttered a curse so vile, I’ll probably have to account for it on judgement day twice.
My husband returned to the hospital to get me and our new baby while the ILs stayed at our home due to a nasty STOMACH VIRUS the FIL caught that had been going around for about 3 weeks. I found out about the contamination to our newly NESTED home on the way home from the hospital. I waked in the house with our new baby, somehow smiled at MIL and hugged her as she sat on the couch reading papers (glancing up just to say “hi and good-by”). I told her we were going to my mother’s house since FIL was sick, adding “just to make sure” to the comment as to buffer the offense. She said that the baby had my immunities and I needn’t worry about the baby getting sick. I didn’t bother to tell her to *$^% @**. Was she actually implying I could get a stomach virus and still take care of my family, our new baby, …. breastfeed? Why chance it??!! I spent the first night home with my second baby at my parent’s house. I missed my DH very, very much. I am still mad about this whole darn thing to this day, and do pray for God to help me forgive and forget!!!