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Oh Just the Beginning

My husband and I just got married. We have lived together for 2 years, and nothing changed but a ring on my finger and my last name. Let me back up. When I moved in with my husband his mom had told him not to trust me. I didn’t say anything because we had just moved in together and I didn’t feel it was my place.
 
We got engaged and his mom says, “OH NO!!!” While I was standing right there. And then started crying. I just smiled. I was so shocked I couldn’t say anything.
 
DH wanted the wedding at his parents house because they have a huge house and a great yard. The week of the wedding I helped MIL clean, cook, and take care of her grandson. I would get up early to help make breakfast and to set the table. We were staying at MIL’s house with DH brother, and brother’s 1 year old son. Not a big deal. She actually suggested we stay there instead of getting a hotel. So I felt the need to help out.
 
The wedding went great!!! Very beautiful!
 
The day after the wedding DH and I went to the house to help clean up. I was standing right out the kitchen window with my Maid of Honor cleaning up and I hear MIL tell DH that I was a rude person! That I didn’t help with anything this whole week, and that all I did was sit on the couch doing nothing.
 
WHAT!?!?!?!
 
I chose not to bring it up since MIL only got one hour of sleep. I didn’t want to start an argument.
 
Next day DH and I are at home. MIL brings over food from the wedding because we had a lot left over. I was on the phone with my best friendfighting. I said hi to MIL and FIL. I told my BF that I would have to call her back. IL’s walked out the door. I thought nothing of this.
 
DH went to lunch with IL’s that day and he came home really upset. I asked him what the conversation was about, and of course it was about me. I guess MIL was talking about me behind my back. Yet she was sweet as pie to my face.
 
Pissed off I called her. She proceeded to tell me that it offended her that I did not say hi when they stopped by to drop off the food. That I was rude and ignored them. That they said hi 3 different times and I didn’t say anything back. That I was more into who ever was on the phone then them. I had kind of lost it. I am not one to get into arguments, but I had told her that ever since I have lived with DH she has had this attitude with me for some reason. She would be sweet to me but when DH got around she would tell him things like not to trust me. When we got engaged she cried, and not happy tears. She was the one rude to me this whole week while I cleaned, and helped cook, and everything I did.
 
She then told me that I had not helped out while I was there. I was rude when they asked me questions about where I wanted to put what. And that I was just in general rude.
 
WHAT THE HELL!?!?!
 
I had no idea where this was coming from and it really upset. I told her that I could not talk to her at the moment and I would call her when I calmed down.
 
I talked to DH about this. He said this was what his mom had said a lunch. And she even compared me to his brother’s ex-wife. She even said I would do to DH what ex-wife had done to his brother.
 
I was highly offended!!!
 
I can’t talk to her about it because no matter what I would always be wrong. And I would never be good enough for her son.
 
I have talked to a friend about this situation who kind of had the same thing go on. She just told me, “be prepared because this is what it is going to be like your whole life.”
 
Great! This is just the start.
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3 responses »

  1. Oh, the agita…. I really hope your Dh is on your side (yes, there are definitely sides, and your DH really needs to be on yours). If he is, this will be an annoyance which will go on, but you can handle it as a team.

    If not….well, I guess that’s really not even an option.

    I wholeheartedly wish you all the best in your marriage and IL situation. Hang in there! And keep us posted. Sending you hugs.

    Reply
  2. OMG, I feel for you completely. As Anna wrote in her comment, I also hope that your DH is on your side. It just makes everything that much easier (!?!?) to deal with.

    I have my own horror stories of my ex-mil… and an ex-husband who did NOTHING to support me from her attacks. My now & forever husband has a similar mother to your mil (replace booze with fanatical religion) and I am blessed every day that he stuck by me and handled his mother appropriately.

    Hearts and Hugs,
    RiceWenchie

    Reply
  3. Your friend is wrong. It doesn’t have to be like that forever. My MIL and SIL have always been horrible to me, and once we were married, my DH told them that he was tired of dealing with the way they treat me and they can accept me and be nice, or stay away. They’ve stayed away! 🙂

    Don’t despair. Your DH will come around.

    Reply

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