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How About Just an Inkling of Empathy?

I recently had surgery and was diagnosed with cancer, all at once.  Everyone in the family called and sent cards, and all of my friends, coworkers, husband’s friends and coworkers, etc. etc.  My sister-in-law, however, not only has not called to asked how I am feeling or coping, she has also not sent a card.  We have had a history of getting along off and on, but my feelings are so hurt by this that I don’t see us ever getting along again.

I was trying to just let it go, but I couldn’t and decided to call and confront her about the situation.  She wasn’t home, so I left her a message that said basically I can’t believe you haven’t bothered calling, and the lie that she told my MIL about not calling me (my answering machine was broken…yeah right) couldn’t have been remotely true because I have caller id and can see anyone that calls, if they leave a message or not.  Maybe that was wrong, but I am just so hurt by this that I had to say something.


4 responses »

  1. That was extremely hurtful of her not to even bother sending a card if she was uncomfortable calling. 😦 I don’t think you were in the wrong to say something to her about it.
    Well, I hope you are doing well 🙂

  2. Have you heard back from her?

    Personally, yes, I think you did the right thing. I think many who might be in your similar situation wouldn’t make the call thinking if they avoid the issue it’ll get better. You put the ball in her court. What she does from here will confirm if she’s an ass or not.

  3. Is she the type of person who would be so unsure of how to act that she wouldn’t act at all?

  4. If I know that someone has tons of people supporting her and I am not particularly close to her, I don’t think I would call or send a card. If I knew she was alone or had few friends or family, maybe I would.


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