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What’s In A Name?

Alright, I’ve been meaning to get this one off my chest for a while now, but have to preface that my in-laws are most of the time “OK” people. They mean well, but at times FIL can be incredibly self-centered and rude.

It took my husband and me a long time and quite a bit of money to get pregnant. It was a difficult time for us filled with lots of disappointment (which my in-laws just didn’t get). During our final try of IVF we got lucky. I mean really, really, really lucky. We became pregnant with triplets. We were thrilled, but cautious. We knew that triplet pregnancies were high risk. We spent a lot of time preparing our families and friends for an almost inevitable NICU stay when the babies arrived.

Unfortunately I did end up getting very sick and delivered 2 and ½ months prematurely. Our babies were so tiny. They went straight to the NICU where we went through some very rocky moments including a 6:00 am phone call from the doctors telling us that one of our daughters was not doing well. A conventional ventilator was not enough. She had to be hooked to an oscillator, a very heavy duty vent causing her chest to vibrate rapidly- one of the scariest things I have ever witnessed. It was a horrible, horrible time. DH and I were terrified for the health of our children.

So when 2 days later the phone rang at 6:00 am again, I started to shake. I couldn’t breathe fearing the absolute worst. Thankfully it was not the doctors calling again, but instead my in-laws. My self-centered FIL called at 6:00 am while our sweet, less than a week old babies were still in danger to let us know how much he and MIL hatedour choice in middle names and how could we be so cruel to not name even one of the babies after them. Nope FIL didn’t even bother to ask how our precious babies were doing!

Yes my in-laws were more concerned about our babies’ names than our babies’ health. I should also mention that my in-laws didn’t bother to come visit the babies for almost a month. Why? Because they had a vacation planned and couldn’t be bothered to drive 3 hours (just 3 measly hours!) out of their way to meet their grandchildren and support their son during a very scary time. Did I also mention that these in-laws have one other grandchild and that grandchild is already named after my MIL? Later in the day when my DH was more alert, he left a message for FIL explaining how totally inappropriate his call had been and demanding an apology, but my FIL never bothered to  respond and DH and I were too occupied with more important things than to bring it up again.

It’s been almost 2 years and our three babies toddlers are doing absolutely fabulous. No health problems or developmental delays whatsoever! But I still get angry thinking about my idiot in-laws. I spent so much time finding very meaningful middle names for my children and now every time I say them aloud I am reminded of that ridiculous and hurtful early morning phone call!

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5 responses »

  1. I am so happy that you and your DH had your beautiful babies. It really sucks when people have to make it all about them. What a yucky side you got to witness of your FIL. I hope that you can restore that relationship but if not that is his issue not yours.

    Enjoy those toddlers…They turn into teens. 🙂

    Reply
  2. I was thrilled to hear that your children are all healthy and hearty and thriving. I am so sorry about your FIL’s insensitivity…my FIL also has that attitude. Just keep repeating your babies’ names and reveling in their health…you and your husband are the only two people who could give them the names that carried the strength to get them by.

    Reply
  3. Congratulations on three healthy, beautiful wee ones.

    Reply
  4. I’m so glad that your triplets are doing well. Your story reminded me of when my twins were born. My husband and I found the perfect name for our daughter, Adelia. It just happened to be the same name as my grandmother. When the kids were born, my IL would not call her by her name because of this. They would tell me they liked the name..but complain to my DH behind my back that she would be rediculed for a name and so called her by her middle name. (They swore kids in school would call her “Adelia Dill Pickle”) This lasted for only a few weeks…because I finally slipped and informed them that her middle name was MY middle name. It’s amazing how they all of a sudden loved her first name. The kids are now 8, my daugher has never been made fun of because of her name and I dont think they have called her Kristine since she was born.

    Reply
  5. That was pretty awful of them!

    Reply

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