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One Ringy-dingy; Two Ringy-dingy

I met my husband in a weird way. We played an on-line game called, World of Warcraft. We talked awhile before we became more than online friends. While we were getting to know each other better. My DH asked me one day while online if I would marry him. I said yes.

While we were talking I emailed him a picture of a ring I really wanted. He told me no problem and bought me the ring. Couple of weeks later the ring arrives at his house. There was only one problem. I was in Illinois, he lived in Texas. So we planned that he’d come to Chicago and propose to me a second time in person with the ring.

I get a phone call a couple of days before he comes up. He goes ” Honey, I got some bad news.” I’m thinking he doesn’t have enough money to see me. He goes, “My mom saw the engagement ring set, and took it back to the jeweler.” I saw red. I go, “Why did she do that?” He told me my now-MIL had two engagement ring sets: one a big, two carat, flawed diamond. Ew! A one carat flawless diamond but the catch is there was no wedding band. This ring is made funny it needs a special wedding band. I was heart broken. 

I had to choose between huge diamond FLAWED ring or perfect diamond, ugly setting, engagement ring. So I picked out the ugly setting. I’ve been married to my loving husband for one year, and I will never forgive my MIL.


9 responses »

  1. Not trying to be argumentative…….but did you marry him for his ring or for him?

    My son was dating a girl in High School that said she would never marry a man unless the engagement ring was at least 2 carats and NO VISABLE FLAWS. I advised my son to ditch her because she was a High Maintenance Girl.

    He took my advice and wound up with a Girl who will walk beside him “for richer and for poorer; in sickness and in health”

    Here’s to hoping you realize there are more important things in a marriage than the engagement ring! A girl that cannot forgive her MIL is a girl that will never forgive her husband’s flaws! May he be more forgiving of yours than you seem to be of his!

  2. dilinwisconsin

    While I can see OMH’s point, I can also say that it really wasn’t up to his mother either…She really shouldn’t have had any say in the ring her son was going to give to the woman he wished to marry. I do agree, however – there is more to life and marriage than the perfect ring. My first engagement ring was a $60 promise ring that my husband bought at ShopKo, as he could not afford anything more extravagant. At least you got to pick out the wedding band you wanted.

  3. My thoughts about this were equally torn. First of all, what was MIL even THINKING to have returned the original setting?? That’s overstepping it just a bit.

    DIL – if you want the setting you originally picked out, sell that flawless diamond and get it. If she insisted you had to use it, then it became yours to do with as you see fit. If your husband balks, then something else is going on between MIL and son that may or may not include an extended apron string.

  4. dilinwisconsin

    The Sane In-Law has a really good point – people upgrade their engagement sets all of the time, I think you could get by doing that, and it would probably make you feel a lot better about the situation.

  5. Oh, I’m all for the “upgrade”! Brilliant. But I would have wondered back then if this was going to be an issue – MIL controlling what her son did… and him just dealing with it…

  6. Perhaps your dear hubby could not afford the flawless set you picked out? If so he should have been honest with you and not blamed the MIL.

    Down the road when you can afford it – upgrade the ring…but don’t put it on credit… save for it – you’ll find that it’s not that important!

  7. My husband had enough money to buy the ring her mother had two engagment rings for husband one and husband two that she wanted her grandson to give his future wife. I could care less if the size of the dimond was the size of a gran of sand. It ment so much that he would buy me a ring that i love. It made me mad thinking this woman had no right going behind our back and returning the ring . Just so she can see her mothers ring on my finger.

  8. I didn’t realize the rings were the grandmothers… I think that part was left out of the post.

    Sorry if I seemed a bit harsh.

  9. dilinwisconsin

    oh, I didn’t see the part about them being her mother’s rings…I think the worst part about it is that she went behind your back and did that. It is true that she had no right to butt in on something like that. I do think, however, that you did your part and took one of the rings; So what I would do is mention to your husband around your anniversary (or birthday, but anniversary would be really special) that the best present he could get for you is a set that YOU really like. YOU are the one who has to wear this for the rest of your life. If she wants to get upset about that, then that is her issue, not yours. Plus, by doing this on your anniversary, it could help you feel better about the situation.


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