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Oh, why do I dislike them? Let me tell the ways.

I have been married to my DH for almost 10 years now.  I have disliked his family from the moment we returned from our honeymoon.  We decided to elope and have a reception later, as we were a bit older than the usual crowd that marries in their early 20’s.  My DH was 26 and I was 28.  His MIL decided that she wanted input on the reception we were throwing.  We were paying for the event ourselves and did not ask for any money from my DH’s parents.

She was so upset that he was following the list I had given him to use at the store (we had worked out what we wanted the night before in the way of food and decorations) that she actually left him at the store.  She stormed off and drove away because he wasn’t “taking her advice” and he was being an “idiot.” 

He called me and told me what was going on and I was really surprised because she seemed like such a nice person.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  She dominated the party and at that moment I realized she would never approve of me as a wife, and she would never treat him like an adult.

This situation worsened over the years.  My MIL tried to take over my kitchen and teach me how her “boys” liked their fruit cut and their stew made.  I never cooked for them again at my house.  We always go out to eat now. 

And when my child was born, she started trying to tell me how to be a parent.  That is when I put my foot down and told her to just leave me alone. 

But the worse offenses actually come from my FIL.  He throws tantrums and refuses to speak to us for days.  He hangs up the phone if the conversation isn’t going the way he planned and he is extremely selfish and spoiled. 

My FIL came down a few weeks ago and absolutely devastated my DH.  He visited for a few minutes and then left after promising to hang out for a few days more.    Realize, we live several states away so it wasn’t like my DH could just hop in a car and go see him.  My FIL didn’t even give a reason as to why he left so suddenly and when we asked that he give us a call that night, we heard nothing.  We assume he made it okay because we haven’t been called about a funeral, but he still hasn’t called us.

Oh, that is another thing… they don’t call us and tell us when people die or when wedding are occurring, because “You just live too far away.”  That is our punishment for moving out of state.  They are extremely vindictive.

I have decided that I am no longer going to send them photos of our child via email or call or keep in contact with them at all.  You cannot reward bad behavior.  It is all going to fall on my DH’s shoulder.  We will visit for Christmas and Easter.  Beyond that, I don’t think we will have further contact.

They have completely pushed me to my breaking point.  I have never dealt with such selfish or mean people in my life.


5 responses »

  1. I would have done exactly the same things you have done. Good for you for not taking their shit.

  2. I wouldn’t even give them christmas and easter! Just sent your husband if he really wants to be amongst such a toxic family and refuse to go!

  3. Don’t ruin your Christmas and Easter. Visit them for Superbowl Sunday or something.

  4. Just sending hugs to you because I can imagine how you feel. I’m in a very similar boat. People can be so vindictive and rude. And this business of “since you live so far away” – that is so petty, isn’t it?

    What I am trying to learn to do with my BIL is just minimize contact but try being polite like I’d be to a stranger when I *have* to interact. It may not be the best way, but it’s the best I know how to do for now.

    Thinking of you and wishing you all the best on your situation. ❤

  5. janecullen.cullen

    I am in the same position with you all. My SIL snatched away all our wedding presents and kept them all. I did not even have a chance to open up and use as I like. She is a true bitch. Furthermore, as soon as she saw me with my child, she also wanted to get pregnent asap and gave birth. She knows exactly that she will be given priority if she becomes pregnent fast and gives birth a child. She is jealous of her mother(my MIL) being with me and taking care of my child. Unfortunately, my husband does not stand for me. He is totally on their side. I will write more later.


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