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Divorcing the In-Laws

So… I am the one who blogged “Bad Dream Wedding, Nightmare Honeymoon” back in January. It has been 6 months since I got married and I sadly report that the In-Laws have struck again, so I have finally decided to divorce them.

Here is how everything unraveled…
Just to give you some background information, MIL has a housekeeper who has worked for her for over 10 years. That lady used to clean my house once a week. One day I asked her if she would please iron my husband’s shirts since she had not done so in over 3 weeks. She told me that I had no right to give her orders and asked me who do I think I am. I responded (very diplomatically since she was my MIL’s maid) that I was the lady of the house now and all I was asking for was respect. The housekeeper told me I was an intruder and a fake and when I asked her to leave my house she almost slapped me. Only after I asked my husband to tell her to leave is when she did. She would not leave unless my husband gave her the order.

After that incident the only one who offered support was FIL. MIL knew all about it but did nothing, she never spoke to me about it. I let it go, and continued as if nothing had happened.
Last week FIL and Hubbyasked me to go to the in laws home to fetch a document for them. When I got there only the housekeeper was there. She saw me and ignored me, but when I asked where the document FIL needed was she screamed “By the table!”. I responded that she need not yell and that she needed to show me respect. The housekeeper came up to me and “got in my face” telling me who do you think you are, telling me I play the good girl card to the family but she will expose me as a fake. I stopped her in her tracks and told her that she had to stop speaking to me that way and I demanded respect as a human being and as my husband’s wife; that she is being paid to clean not to attack me. I got so mad that I yelled to myself “who does this &%^$# maid think she is?!” (I recognize I did wrong here). I stormed downstairs to grab my things and leave, when she comes from behind and hits me in the back. This is while I’m walking downstairs, so I almost fell, then she passes me in the stairs slamming me against the wall, and she runs to the phone.
Although she hit me, I did not touch her ONLY because I knew that this woman is 2 months pregnant. I left and called my husband to let him know I had been physically attacked by this crazy woman. He assured me that he would take care of this situation. In the meantime my two SIL started calling me and my husband insulting us with the most vicious and vulgar language you could imagine. Apparently the housekeeper told them that I had gone to their home to insult and hit her. SILs swore on their mother’s grave that they would not stop until they destroyed me, they insulted my family and just let go of all their vile on me and my husband. I said nothing and just asked them to not call me again.
FIL supports us 100% but he has no control over what happens in his home. MIL has not said a word to me but takes the housekeeper’s and SIL’s side. I for one have decided not to go to their home again while that woman works there, for I feel I am in danger. It kind of feels good not to put up with all the hate so I might as well just keep away all together…
Please tell me what you think, I don’t know what to do… Thoughts?


6 responses »

  1. 1) if you haven’t yet reported this woman to the law, you’re a fool. Assault is assault. This needs to be reported.

    2) If your MIL is a part of this, she needs to be reported as well. If you think this will just pass or that it will get better over time it will not.

    3) It is only a matter of time before violence escalates from other family members if this path continues. (ie. SILs et al)

    4) If your husband supports you, he should separate himself from his mother and sister(s) completely until their behavior changes. Period.

    obviously it’s just my two cents…. but as someone who has BTDT, I strongly urge you to consider what the ultimate price you might pay could be.

    best wishes

  2. Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry this happened to you. I just got back from the “vacation from h*ll” with BIL, never been treated so rudely in my life on a continual 7-day basis, so believe me, I know the misery of being treated so horribly. It’s traumatic and just heartbreaking.

    Don’t be hard on yourself for what you said; my God, we can only take so much!! You had every right to speak out loud and say what you did after the way you’d been treated. This person is supposed to be being paid for being a housekeeper and she’s acting like a junkyard dog! I don’t blame you one bit for not going back while she works there.

    Maybe keep a low profile and keep a mental note of who was supportive of you when. FIL sounds like a nice, reasonable guy. I’m sorry MIL has not been supportive. Try not to let it get you down if for no other reason than you are certainly not alone. People are so hateful and unreasonable, and listen, we can only take so much. We are only human, and after so much verbal abuse, who ISN’T going to say something back? You’re great, and just stay away from that abusive environment. Tell them it might be cheaper for them to hire an attack dog rather than an attack housekeeper. 😉 ❤

  3. Wow! Your MIL and SIL sound like my crazed in laws. However I have 3 crazed BIL, 1 crazed SIL and a totally certifiable MIL.

    If this is 6 months into your marrige, get it under control NOW! I am 18 years in and things have never gotten any better. They have now started speaking ill of me to my 13 year old son and my 11 year old daughter. But not only do they treat me poorly, they treat my kids poorly. I have let it be known to my children that they never have to be around those people, it is their choice.

    My husband tries so hard to keep the piece. I think the worst thing is that they talk behind my back. If there is an issue with me, then lets discuss it. But no, they would rather trash me like a teenager!

    Bottom line is, if things aren’t fixed now and lines drawn, you will be in the same place in 20 years.

    Please don’t let things go the way I did for many years. It can be and will be a living hell.

    • I hoped you told your husband its either you and the kids or his family. i told my wife that and she chose her wacko dad and siblings. We are now getting a divorce. A lack of respect is a lack of respect no human deserves that.

  4. OMG! There is NO, ABSOLUTELY NO, excuse for hitting! Your husband definitely needs to step up and understand your feelings! I’m sorry this happened to you, WHAT A NIGHTMARE!

  5. Rediculous I hate controlling people. Get rid of them.


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