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Past its Prime

I came across your site (for obvious reasons I’m sure you will understand) and noted that you were short on stories.  Well, it only took me a moment to compose one of many many stories regarding my own relationship with a MIL from hell. 

I guess it’s not hard to already discern I have little or no relationship with my current MIL.  The love was not there from the start, as I married a Mamma’s Boy and shame on me for taking away her pride and joy.  Not as the old saying goes- gain a daughter, lose a son – in this case.  There were problems from the get-go but I was young and naive and thought it would all get better AFTER we were married.  Yeah, ok, that never happened, it only got worse. 

I don’t have much of a relationship with my MIL, or SIL for that matter.  I have very little contact with either of them, as I’ve learned staying away helps keep me sane.  But after not visiting with them for over a year, my husband felt the “need” for them to come over to our house and spend Christmas Day.  I was smart enough to have a house full of other guests as to make the situation a pleasant one for me.  We exchanged gifts with the in-laws and what did I get from my doting MIL?  A gift card for the local grocery store along with a “recycling grocery bag” filled with multiple household food items……………………..a mish mash of things to say the least.  But the kicker? The items placed in the bag were all EXPIRED!  Not one item could be used as many were as old as one full year past their expiration date.  There was whole wheat pasta, maple syrup, bisquick mix, teas and cakes…………..all well past their prime and not fit for anyone to eat.

 I hadn’t noticed the items’ expiration dates until the day after.  I had mentioned to my husband that the items were not of use and expired.  His reply:  Well, I’m sure we have items in our cabinets that are expired too.  However, my point was I’m not handing them out as Christmas gifts! 

My husband saw nothing wrong with his mother’s gift to me.  He was quick to explain that his mother has given his sister expired items as well and that it is no big deal.

 I tried to impress upon him that I didn’t know which was more insulting: the fact that she did her Christmas shopping for me via her kitchen cabinets or the fact that they were all expired!  In either case, it doesn’t give you a warm fuzzy feeling, does it?!?

 Needless to say she is the apple of his eye and will never have an unkind word to say about the woman who brought him into this world.

Can you explain to me why this is?


2 responses »

  1. Oh boy. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to say what you’d love to say to these in-laws?

    First, I’m sorry this happened to you. But GOOD on you and well done for having others there. This probably helped not only because you had friends to actually talk to, but because THIS way, with WITNESSES, your MIL probably minded her manners more than if it had just been her/FIL/etc.

    Now to the gift: That is awful! She is either completely stooopid (a real bimbo who has no clue about expiration dates – which I highly doubt) – OR – she is making it very clear you’re not on her priority list for Christmas giving. The first, I could honestly overlook. The second, no way. She has set the tone – and it isn’t a pleasant one.

    As for him, someone needs to jack him up and say: “Hey, DEAR. How would YOU like it if my Mom gave you OLD EXPIRED ITEMS for YOUR Christmas present? You’d feel pretty $%^&ed unimportant, wouldn’t you, huh?”

    I wish I could talk to both your MIL AND your husband on your account. I’d set them BOTH straight for you.

    I’m sorry you had to deal with this. I would surround myself with loving friends and as you are already doing, just distance yourself as much as you can from MIL until (or if ever) she learns some manners and tact. As for your husband, maybe it’s time to stand your ground with him and just shake your head at him and say: “REALLY. Enough is ENOUGH already. Stop taking up for her like she’s the center of the universe. You married ME – she has insulted me – if you don’t give a darn, then why are we even together?” (Just to make him think!)

    I wish you the best. I’m so glad you posted. We can’t let these husbands keep making excuses for their mothers’ rudeness. And I would give MIL a good, frosty leaving alone.

  2. Why??? He’s still attached to her boob….that’s why. He needs to figure out who he’s married too….you or her.


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