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A DIL’s Work Is Never Done

When my future MIL had to go overseas for work she asked if I would mind HELPING FIL with the two younger children whilst she was away. I knew she was worried about her kids, so I agreed that my fiancé and I could come and stay for the 3 nights while she was away. FIL took this to mean that while she was gone I was his slave. He went out each night until morning and did not help me look after his children AT ALL. I was expected to drive them around, cook, clean inside and outside of his house – this included sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, wiping and washing clothes daily. I was never asked to do anything I was TOLD to do EVERYTHING.

Because he lives like an absolute slob leaving anything he touches anywhere he wants and because I am not used to looking after children myself I got a little behind with everything. When he got home there were dirty dishes on the sink that I was planning to get to once hanging some washing. FIL saw dirty dishes and, instead of asking if I needed some help, told me that there were dirty dishes in the sink. I told him I would get to them. He then actually had the nerve to ask me if I was actually a female (no, I look nothing like a male), because a REAL woman will never let anything be dirty. 

The whole time that she was gone, he insulted me, tried to shame me, ordered me around, complained that I didn’t do things good enough and told me I was not a woman. When his son was around though, he acted extremely grateful for my help.

One night my man was working, FIL invited all of his friends over to drink, which his wife does not allow. They were there until early morning, being loud and keeping the young boys up until early morning on a school night. Atop of this he continued to treat me the way that he did whilst my partner was not around in front of his friends and encouraged them to ask me if they needed anything. All night I was expected to fetch drinks, ice, snacks, MEALS. urgh 

I will never subject myself to that again. I am very glad my partner has no sisters, because I see how females are treated in that family. When we have children, he will be thoroughly outlined the way that I believe PEOPLE should be treated, and if he sees differently, will not have any contact with them.


4 responses »

  1. I wonder if he treats his wife that way. And I worry about the boys he is raising and how they will grow up and treat women.

  2. You need to have those conversations with your fiance now, before you get married and before you have children.

  3. well you said the two things I was hoping you’d say. 1) you will never do it again, and 2) that certain behavior around your children will not be tolerated.

    I will never speak to his family again or “hang out” with them. My husband can do whatever he wants. And he can bring along our daughter when she’s old enough to be without me for lengthy periods of time. However, if they gossip, talk negatively to him, yell at him or have any kind of dysfunctional meltdown when she’s there with him, they will no longer be able to “hang out” with our daughter again.

    They’ve already done this once and I’ve warned them. She was only 10 weeks old, but if it happens again, there is no reason for our daughter to be there while they yell at their brother and throw tantrums and curse and everything. Yelling at him because of me, of course. “why won’t she talk to our mother, why don’t you get some BALLS and MAKE her talk to her”. Making a huge scene in a restaurant. Cursing with other small children at tables nearby. Forget it. They have one more chance with her so I hope for their sake they act like mature, respectable adults.

  4. You should have walked out. Period. NEVER allow someone else to treat you like that for one moment… EVER.


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