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In-Laws on Facebook

My relationship with my SIL and her adult children has been strained for years. However, because we are all adults, when the SIL and one of her children requested to be friends with me on Facebook, I accepted. I figured they made the effort so could I.

Several months went by and while we rarely reciprocated with each other, I made sure to filter any of my updates they may find offensive. Again, for the sake of playing nice.

I just noticed that they have both now unfriended me. If it had been one of them, I could have seen it as a possible glitch. Both though has me wondering what the hell I did wrong this time to offend them.

I’m torn between asking them which I would hope cause some embarrassment; to not asking because I want to pretend I don’t even notice or care. It’s not like we interacted with each other. The only thing we have in common is that they are related to my husband. I’m angry, upset and even a bit humiliated since I knew it had to be a joint decision where I was the topic of a back-stabbing. And not knowing why makes my stomach clench.

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7 responses »

  1. Ugh. Okay, I believe I know who this is so I will just be completely honest. I would outright ask. I would ask why I was deleted and if there was a problem. I can’t stand people that do something so passive aggressive. So annoying.

    Reply
  2. Best thing? Let it go, be the bigger person here. For whatever reason they unfriended you- that’s THEIR issue not yours.

    You can only control how you react to their actions. What could it possibly be that caused them to unfriend you? Chances are it’s some petty shit that is not worth your time playing into.

    Reply
  3. I’m sorry this happened to you. Based on their pettiness, I’d be willing to bet there is a very strong possibility that they suggested friending you just so they could unfriend you later — deriving a childish and petty “victory” in feeling like they might have “gotten to you”. As much as I agree with Brandy in that you *deserve* to know the truth, shady passive-aggressives like that rarely come clean. They go to their graves making everybody else the “bad guy” in whatever situation they find themselves, even when they actively orchestrated those situations! I would lay low, I wouldn’t bubble at all, and I would never mention it. Why? Because it’s seriously doubtful you’d ever get an honest explanation, so don’t give them the satisfaction (which is what they are wanting!) that it even remotely troubled you.

    Reply
  4. Nice to see you on the “high road.” I’ve been here for 30 years and it stinks. But better to be here than hanging out with the in-laws.

    My FIL’s favorite thing to say is “I only have one daughter.” I think it’s to make my husband’s sister feel good about herself. Yes it makes me sad and it’s even been humiliating when said to someone outside the family. He thinks it’s cute to say and he even knows it upsets me. But when I hear it, I just retreat to the high road. I was raised in a family that accepts the sons- and daughters-in-law as if they are biological. I guess I thought everyone was like that.

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  5. I’m right there with you! All 4 of my SIL have friended me and then unfriended me for some stupid reason and wont give me a reason why! They have also Outsted me from ” Girls Night out” , Family Gatherings. ect. and when I find out about it, they lie to me.. My husband says if they Dont like me he dont like them.. I love my husband more for this reason.

    Reply
    • Wow you have an awesome husband to say “if they don’t like you he don’t like them? My MIL and SILs are evil. They corner me when my husband is not around and “gang up on me’ like a bunch of bullies. I feel your pain and completely understand. I will not friend any of them on facebook. They are not my friends so why bother having toxic people in my life.

      Reply
  6. Zippidy do daaaa

    Yah know what. Don’t even bother to find out why they deleted you. Its obvious… they dont like you. Dont waist your time or energy on some one who doesn’t like you. Family or no family, Focus instead on those who do love you, who get you, who appreciate you and allow for fault and mistakes while loving you. I have a sister in law whose such a douche. But you know whose the bigger douche,? My loser brother who married her and cowards behind her. Always seeking an apology but never giving one.. Pointing his finger at whose at fault but never owning his own role. Hes a bigger asshole than her and they deserve each-other. I never called her a fat slob, he did. I never called her a drunk raving lunatic but he did. Then he gets back with her and wants me to say I am sorry to her for sticking up for him. What a fucking coward he is. If I have already earned the words ( my sister is fucking crazy ) , Then next time I see them I will show them what crazy really is. I really don’t like either one of them. I keep it real but they don’t. So you know what,. I have other brothers and sister in laws that I love dearly and even if I am sometimes crazy… they love me anyway. I focus on my friends and family who know me, who love me, who get me. The ones I laugh with and cry for. Not the ones who are first ,1300 miles away therefore not even active family members ( thank God) and second… could care less if I live or die See ya at a funeral. Maybe mine, maybe yours but that’s the next time I ll see either of them and If I do see them before that, I sure do have a mouthful to give. Especially to the brother who doesn’t like me. Oh really, Really??/ Shouldn’t I, not like you ,for what you did to me as a innocent 14 yr old girl sleeping on the couch. Hmmmm whats the matter. Afraid Im gonna blow the lid off that story. Oh you bet I am. Creepy fucking weirdo….The End

    Reply

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