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Take that tee and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

My MIL watches golf (or bowling) all damn day long. My husband (her son) invited the in-laws over for supper tonight and while we were finishing the finishing touches of the meal, we had turned on the Open for them to watch. After the meal, my daughter came to me and asked if she could watch a movie. The kids (her grandchildren, natch) had been so good I obliged by switching on a DVD.

After a couple of minutes of previews, my MIL says, “Are they done with golf?” I replied, “No, I turned on a movie for the kids.” “Oh.”

After a couple more minutes, “Hey, you going to turn the golf game back on?” “No,” I said. I’m letting the kids watch a movie before bed.” “Oh. Okay.”

“Hey, kid. Turn on channel 6 so I can watch my golf.” I responded a little louder, “The kids are watching their movie.” “Oh.”

Listen, bitch. I know you heard me the first two times. We’re not watching your fucking golf. Go home and watch it on your TV.

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