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Category Archives: Brothers In Law (BIL)

Comedy Gold

My SIL uses FIL (her dad) truck all the time to haul her friends, family, stuff, etc. around all the time. Hey, and if he doesn’t have a problem with it, I guess neither should I, right?

One of my BILs, the SIL’s brother, is visiting from out-of-state, and it never fails that when one of the children visit, they think they are doing favors for their parents and invariably screw something up, like “update” the computer with a virus-infected program, or change the password and forget to write it down; or drag their chronically ill father to a specialist nine hours away (driving time) and return with him sick from sitting in a car that long without moving… yeah, totally awesome.

And then these two paths crossed: SIL wants to use the truck for godknowswhat this weekend, but the battery is dead. BIL says he’ll put in a new one. BIL buys a new car battery and installs it. BACKWARDS. Luckily, the vehicle has one of those switches in case some ding-dong does that and prevents it from blowing up the motor. However, now that fuse has to be replaced. That means it has to be ordered.  Uh-oh. Someone doesn’t have a truck to drive…

FIL is pissed. SIL is pissed. BIL is pissed. Me? I’m just sitting in my seat, throwing back popcorn and grinning like a loon.

In-Law Phobia

Soceraphobia – fear of parents-in-law.

While I’m not scared of mine, much like flying, spiders, bats and anything similar that makes me want to throw up when I experience them, I try to avoid them.

Let me count the ways…

My inlaws, all of them, drive me insane! They are so not a normal family. My husband comes from a family of eight children, I will give you a short synopsis of each one….
 
First there is my MIL. She is a total pushover, and I swear she is brainless. Our daughter will never be equal to my SIL’s children, she has no interest in her what so ever. 
 
The oldest brother is an alcoholic living in a homeless shelter. He wants to live with my husband, my daughter and I. I said no. Absolutely not. Now he bad mouths me and calls me a bitch.
 
The next in line is the only SIL that I like. Thank God for her.
 
Next, my BIL and his wife. They live in filth. They smoke..constantly..in their house, around their children, who have no clothes and do not go to school. Nice, right?
 
Next…My Gay BIL, the only normal one in the family. I love him, dearly.
 
Oh, my favorite SIL (notice the sarcasm) that back-stabbing, two- faced, horrible person. She takes the cake. Lies. Cheats. Steals. Has a royally bad attitude. She is on the verge of wrecking my marriage. It’s funny to me that she calls everyone white trash–she is the queen of it!
 
Next are the twins, they party. Have no responsibility what- so- ever.
 
My husband–he’s not too bright. He doesn’t see any of this behavior. Nor does he do anything productive in our marriage. I WANT OUT!

Crazy Cat People

When we moved, our FIL and MIL agreed to take our kitty to live with them because my allergies were getting so bad. They adore her, but in the past few years their health has been failing. With that, they aren’t as physically able to get into the basement to change the kitty litter as often as they should (our cat joined their cat, so there’s actually two).

Since they can’t change the cat boxes as often, the cats have started pooping elsewhere. One SIL came over and her “solution” was to add a third cat box. Which they can’t change either!

My BIL came to visit from out-of-state and he and his wife locked the cats in a small dark room in the basement for three days, “TO TEACH THEM A LESSON!”

Another SIL called my husband to tell him to come over…to change the kitty litter! She was right-fucking-there!

WTF??!

Mouth Still Open – Mind Still Reeling

I just got back from vacation with DH and BIL. I’ve been married 5 years to a wonderful, tolerant man. DH, BIL and their mother used to take vacations twice a year together after their dad died. Out of respect for their privacy and so they could spend some quality time together, I stayed away from their vacations for those 5 years – thinking I had DH all to myself all the rest of the year, and not wanting to complicate or cause them a change in plans or rooms especially since their mother was elderly and in relatively poor health. She was a dear lady and we actually got along well, though I did not see her often. 

When my MIL passed away 7 months ago, we were all saddened by her loss and DH thought then that he, I and BIL should take a week’s vacation together to help get BIL away from his house for a week. I was happy and looking forward to it. (A little BIL history: BIL is 50 years old, lived with his mother all his life, drinks beer every night in a bar, has never had a girlfriend, and is obese. He goes on vacations abroad with his bar buddies about once a year and he lives about 20 miles from us, still in his mother’s house. Every offer or kind and gentle suggestion to maybe go someplace else once or twice a week other than a bar has been met with snurly comments, so eventually we just stopped suggesting.) 

Just after MIL passed away, I began cooking dinners twice a week and BIL came over to eat. He didn’t say much, which I interpreted as being grief and sadness from his mother’s death, so I tried to be understanding and sympathetic. 

For 6 months, I have cooked Sunday dinner and we have bad BIL over for then.

I have been welcoming, encouraging and friendly. 

This week’s vacation (we’ve only been back 2 days) has been one of the most shocking, horrible experiences of my entire life. There was no physical violence, no shouting, just a continual, unrelenting dark cloud of negativity, grunts, snarly responses and veiled insults to our intelligence to the most politely phrased and necessary of simple questions. “Would you like pizza this evening?” etc. Everything DH and I said was argued with, somehow “wrong”, and the overall atmosphere was bristling with hostility from BIL. I am still reeling from the previous week because again–I have never been treated with such utter disrespect in my life. 

Every night we were there, BIL expected (and got) my husband to go out to the local bar with him from 9:30 p.m. until 11:30 while BIL drank his beer. My husband doesn’t drink, but felt like he should go so BIL would have someone to talk to. 

By the last day of vacation, BIL was more rude and sarcastic than ever, even though he only drinks from about 9:30 p.m. until midnight. But through the day when he was “sober”, he was so spiteful and anti-social. 

When the cab pulled up in front of his house to take us to our house, he did not even wave goodbye to us, though we had paid for 2/3 the vacation house, 1/2 the gas for his car, thanked him profusely for driving us in his car, and when he’d had a touch of car trouble at the end, insisted for paying for “half” since he implied that the weight of all of us in his car had “caused” the problem.

When my husband phoned BIL after we’d gotten home, (I’d had it by that point) I took the phone and said: “The next time someone is waving ‘bye’ to you, the least you could do is wave back!” (the only harsh words I’d spoken to him EVER) – this after I KNEW he’d seen both my husband and me waving bye to him. He claimed he HAD waved – (which he hadn’t), so I said: “You did NOT!” — and he lied and said, “Maybe you didn’t see it. It was a little wave.” (Not true by any stretch of the imagination.) 

I know I sound like a broken record when I say again that I am still reeling from this, never have I been treated this way, especially on a continual week-long basis – and I it’s day 2 being home and I still don’t feel back to “normal” yet. 

To add insult to injury, DH still feels sorry for him and wants us to have him over every Sunday afternoon for dinner, so, BIL came over yesterday. (DH and I had words about this. I felt like cooking for him was reinforcing that he could just treat us any old way and still be welcome.) BIL would not look me in the eye when he arrived. In my heart, I had resolved NOT to invite him back. He did not apologize for his horrible week-long attitude or for lying. Then, after dinner, do you know what BIL did? He stood at the door and mumbled: “Thanks for the meal. See you next Sunday.” (I had not even invited him! He just assumed he could come back, even after ruining an entire expensive weeklong vacation and causing so much stress and unhappiness by hateful comments and attitudes.) 

We were there for BIL during his mother’s illness, during her funeral and have been there for him ever since after – and it has not been appreciated in the least from what we can tell. We are not even treated with common decency. One would treat a stranger with more kindness than BIL has shown. Let me state before closing that if BIL had just treated me with just some respect — or I would not be feeling this traumatized or shocked. But I was treated like a dirty disposal rag that he had no use for — the ENTIRE vacation time. DH was not treated much better. Yet DH “feels sorry” for BIL and like he should somehow be responsible for BIL’s life and happiness. 

Thank you for letting me vent. I’m sure it sounded like a jumble of craziness — but as I said, I am still reeling from this person’s attitude and actions.

Sand-of-a-Beach!

We live on a sandy bit of property. Sandy as in sandy, not sandy as in beachy (unfortunately).

The other day my husband’s BIL called and asked my husband if he could fill up a 5 – gallon bucket with some sand BIL wanted to use for a landscaping project, and that BIL would be right over to pick it up.

I’m sorry, but to me that’s being obscenely lazy, especially since BIL live less than a mile away and we sit on 10 acres of sand. It’s not like we would have noticed if he’d come over himself and filled up a bucket with sand!

In-Law Complaint By Proxy

I am going to complain about my family on my husband’s behalf. This complaint involves a SIL, a BIL, and a AIL (aunt).

First off, I have been wanting a break from my aunt for awhile. She is my (dead) dad’s childless older sister. She wants to visit my toddler every Sunday. My husband and I both work long hours and really cherish our weekends. It is kind of pain to have her come over for two hours every Sunday and interrupt our family time. We also don’t want her to take the kid for two hours because we want to spend time with the kid.

Anyway, my aunt got her kid time in on Saturday this weekend because I was having a garage sale, so I told her she could go with my husband to the kid’s swim lesson to help him out. She did and then she spent a considerable amount of time at the house afterwards. I was safe in the driveway, but my poor husband had his free time encroached upon.

My mom normally has family dinner on Sunday but it was canceled this week. I was a little bummed because I had been thinking that would be a good time to visit with my step-brother who is in town. So, my mom ended up inviting just us over. My sister and BIL were taking the aunt to dinner and a movie that night and my step-sister had been over the day before, so we were looking forward to a low-key evening with just my parents and my step-brother.

Since my sister had plans during family dinner time, she wanted to come over to our house earlier in the day to visit with the kid since they wouldn’t have seen her all week. I told my sister that we were pretty busy and I hadn’t firmed up times for a couple things, so I would have to let her know. She let me know that early morning and mid-afternoon would work well with her schedule. I laughed and told her we don’t want morning visitors. She got more specific and said, “Ok, we can come over from 3-4.” I told her I would let her know.

We ended up being busy until 3:50 on Sunday. I called my sister because I said I would, even though I knew she probably wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, and told her that we would be going over to my parents’ house shortly and if she wanted to visit the kid, she could do it there. She couldn’t, of course, because of the movie time.

We had the nice, enjoyable, low-key evening we were expecting at my parents’ house. After dinner, we were hanging out in the family room. The men were watching the Lakers game. My mom was in the kitchen making Amish friendship bread. I was looking through sales fliers and the kid was playing quietly on the floor. Then, my sister, BIL, and aunt showed up and everything went to shit.

There weren’t enough seats in the family room for everyone, so my sister brought in some folding chairs. It was instantly crowded and noisy. My BIL took the kid out in the backyard and got her all riled up and let her get into the pool toys and bring them in the house. My sister and aunt talked through the whole game, pissing off my step-dad and my step-brother (he went out front to make calls on his cell phone to get away). My aunt called my kid “unsociable” because the kid wanted to play with what she wanted to play with and wouldn’t come over to the aunt’s chair whenever the aunt wanted her to. Also, my aunt kept torturing my kid by trying to hold her when she didn’t want to be held, and make her give my aunt hugs and kisses when she didn’t want to, which totally pisses me off because she just keeps insisting long after it is apparent that the kid isn’t going to give in.

So, it was finally coming to an end, they were heading out to a restaurant for dinner. I heard the kid whining in the other room and my aunt saying, “Give me kiss.” I yelled, “Quit torturing her!” A minute later my aunt walked into the family room and said, “Well, that wasn’t any fun.” I assumed she was referring to stopping by uninvited* to visit the kid and the kid not obeying her every command, and I said, “She wasn’t put on this planet to entertain you.” Before I even got my sentence out, my husband said, “She’s not your plaything.” My aunt said, “I never said she was!” got mad and stormed out.

I don’t think she’s ever stormed out on me before or got mad at me like that, so I was a little shocked, but I was still more irritated by the whole visit than anything else, so I wasn’t really sorry about it. Now, I do feel a little guilty, but maybe I can get a break from her for awhile.

*After they left, I found out that my sister had called while my mom was in the kitchen after dinner to ask if we were still there and if they could come over. I told my mom that a little heads up would have been nice. I don’t like being forced to visit with people against my will.

-Irritated with My Husband’s In-Laws

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