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Category Archives: Sisters In Law (SIL)

Wedding Basher

I read a lot of stories about the manipulative MIL, the bully MIL, etc. My issue is the Self-Victimizing MIL. She’s done it for years, a real pro.

I recently married my wonderful DH. Throughout the planning of the wedding, MIL constantly crossed lines. She whined constantly about the lack of info (we’d tell her, she’d forget due to meds and just a lackadaisical way of life). She’d email our bridal parties and bitch out whomever ‘wasn’t doing their duty.’ Said I was selfish since I had a lingerie party (thrown FOR me!!). Keeping in mind we: pay her bills, clean her hoarder apartment when it gets unlivable (often), and treat her to haircuts and groceries since she is constantly broke…yet always has perfect gel nails (what your taxes pay for, folks!)

The day OF and before the wedding, she was noticeably bitchy; barely spoke to me, snapped at my mum, just was a miserable wet rag. Oh, she was lovely for the ceremony and speech…but everyone noticed she had something up her @$$!!! Interrupted a special moment with me and DH to berate us for not having a closer smoking area; and believe me, she was PISSED. Um, your son just got married….

My Maid of Honor (also my SIL!!!!) got just incredibly intoxicated (no one minded!) and happened to take a spill at the end of the night. She bled, and if you know my SIL, you do not tell her she isn’t that hurt/sick.etc. Well, MIL does just that, standing over her. SIL flailed her arms in anger, and knocked MIL’s glasses…AND MIL THREW A LARGE VASE OF WATER AT HER OWN DAUGHTER. In the middle of the dancefloor. In front of (luckily) 1/3 of the guests. Well, SIL proceeded to scream and sob like an infant, throwing herself to the ground regularly with her bf trailing behind. My DH comforted MIL (great). I shooshed over to SIL in my big dress and said, “what can I do right now, to make you feel better?” SIL replied, “I’m not riding in a car with her!” So i shoosh back over to MIL and DH and cheerfully, in my best diplomatic voice say, “So SIL & BF are gonna stay at the motel, MIL, we can drop you off on our way to the hotel.”…OMG. Her eyes narrowed into little slits….and she BITCHED. Bitched at the utter injustice of our assumption that she shouldn’t drive (she takes pain pills *cough* and shouldn’t drink at all). Yeah, really made a case for sobriety. The night ended with our guests forcing us into our car to get away from the drama, and my DH yelling for everyone to “STFU” (which, of course, was ‘only directed at her…”)….a great end to what was a perfect day.

Upon getting home the next day, I tell DH he should likely check on MIL. He did (calling her on his honeymoon…bet she loved that!) and she bitched at HIM and US for the incident!!!!!!!!! Said that she felt interrogated over drinking (well, the sober don’t tend to launch vases at their daughters…). Also said she didn’t enjoy her son’s wedding….just a knife to our (especially my) hearts. She followed this up with stupid facebook posts (poor DH has to put up with his close friends poking fun of the awful, sappy, and disturbing pics she CONSTANTLY posts on her wall and others’…y’know, puppy abuse pics and stuff) on my wall, acting like it never happened. She tossed in several passive aggressive comments. I ceased responding.

Finally, we had it out. And she played the victim like none other. Brought up every. Tiny. Thing. Wrong. In. My. Wedding. Most of which was ridiculous; we know it was a great time for all our guests. But she screamed and ranted, cried, said DH loves his dad more now (the hell?!), she didn’t get a minute alone with her son (she did. She was a moron. She was LATE by a minimum of 2 HOURS for the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, and the hotel. We all went to the salon together so she wouldn’t feel left out…OR miss her appointment. Believe me, there’s no chances with her; she’ll be late)). She LIED and said I ‘didn’t let her get her hair the way she wanted’. BULL.I’d never do that. She told me her ex’s family (DH’s grandparents, uncles and aunts, etc) were angry with me, everyone hated the venue, it was a disaster. How she had to WALK with a BROKEN NECK (ohh believe me, bullshit!!!) in the DARK! (after being offered a ride and apparently being sober enough to drive)….AND every time we’d say she was ridiculous to be angry about this stuff, she’d say she WASN’T mad and kept laying into us. Guess what, B****; screaming like a banshee=angry lady. For an HOUR. DH would raise his voice to be heard and she’d scream over him, not giving him a chance, nor me (I got in some good points…she was furious with the friggin LOGIC).

I stood up for myself: I said all I was willing to apologize for was a lack of organization and if she felt unappreciated, but that was it (I had apologized prior to her rant sincerely and calmly) And that we expected an apology for her drama, especially since we KNOW our guests had a blast. She screamed and had a hissy fit, totally uncensored (does she KNOW what I wanted to say and didn’t???). She went right for my jugular and got it! Then she kicked us out….as we are going through the door she starts sobbing and tries to force a $100 into DH’s hand (sobbing how DH has changed…yeah, he isn’t a doormat), which he tries to refuse. I finally say “NO. That isn’t fair,” which he repeated. So we leave, she’s bawling even though she just laid into us FAR MORE than we have to her (keeping in mind all she could say was there is a wedge between her and DH, she didn’t get enough time with him, I don’t understand, the wedding was heinous, and we’re just shameful people). I am angry. Hurt. More than I was before. And I know that this B**** has us all convinced she’s unstable. So we get a coffee. I suggest DH get her one and run up to her apartment, just so we arent leaving so badly (HIGH ROAD! Anyone see me take it?!) and to make it easy I’ll wait in the car. I WAITED OVER AN HOUR. At which point i was texted a gooey, “so sorry lets move on” from MIL as DH re-entered the car. Here’s what I KNOW: when she says sorry, it means “I’ve said all I wanted to! Let’s forget the hateful things I said and move on like it never happened!”. When DH says he was firm, it means “I totally told her I was still mad…while comforting her and giving in completely”.

SO: I am more alone now as the one who won’t get over it. Well, maybe because she opened up a whole other can of worms by telling me how awful my wedding was…zeroed in on my doubts…and I feel so awful. Depression has really struck me here…I know I had a perfect day but her comments really got to me. And no one cares since it’s been ‘dealt with’…dealt with? She got EXACTLY what she wanted.

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Comedy Gold

My SIL uses FIL (her dad) truck all the time to haul her friends, family, stuff, etc. around all the time. Hey, and if he doesn’t have a problem with it, I guess neither should I, right?

One of my BILs, the SIL’s brother, is visiting from out-of-state, and it never fails that when one of the children visit, they think they are doing favors for their parents and invariably screw something up, like “update” the computer with a virus-infected program, or change the password and forget to write it down; or drag their chronically ill father to a specialist nine hours away (driving time) and return with him sick from sitting in a car that long without moving… yeah, totally awesome.

And then these two paths crossed: SIL wants to use the truck for godknowswhat this weekend, but the battery is dead. BIL says he’ll put in a new one. BIL buys a new car battery and installs it. BACKWARDS. Luckily, the vehicle has one of those switches in case some ding-dong does that and prevents it from blowing up the motor. However, now that fuse has to be replaced. That means it has to be ordered.  Uh-oh. Someone doesn’t have a truck to drive…

FIL is pissed. SIL is pissed. BIL is pissed. Me? I’m just sitting in my seat, throwing back popcorn and grinning like a loon.

Let me look up the number for the local taxi company for you.

My FIL has been in the nursing home for the past couple of months. My husband, his son, easily spends two to three hours a night, five to six days out of each week. If she asks, he will pick MIL and take her with him when he goes to visit since she can no longer drive (the in-laws are quite elderly).

MIL gets mad if my husband can’t come pick her up early enough. He does what he can, what with working until 5:00 or 6:00 p.m. every day and having supper with his family and then trying to get a shower in, but sometimes he may not be able to go get her until 8:00 p.m. She’ll bitch about how late it is and it’s close to her bedtime and then saying “but I suppose I’ll go with you…” like he’s forcing her or something.

Then, once he finally gets her to the nursing home, she’ll sit there silently watching the TV for about 20 minutes before asking my husband if he’s ready to take her home.

My husband is not her only child living in the same town. In fact, not only does another sibling live in the same town, she doesn’t have little children at home like we do and doesn’t work a full-time job, so she’s available much earlier in the day, but why she doesn’t ask her to drive her to the nursing home to see her husband, I don’t know. And I can’t forget how she has an adult grandchild also living here who does NOT work who could taxi her around…

I wouldn’t care if my husband drove her every day if she wasn’t such an ungrateful bag.

In-Law Phobia

Soceraphobia – fear of parents-in-law.

While I’m not scared of mine, much like flying, spiders, bats and anything similar that makes me want to throw up when I experience them, I try to avoid them.

Facebook Drama

I’m a bit hesitatant to submit this. While searching on Google for a website that would make me feel validated, I first came across a Christian family counseling site and a site related to “letting go of your inner brat”. Both suggested being the bigger person and letting it go. I considered, then came across this site and just can’t resist. Yes I’m being a brat and yes I should confess my horrible thoughts and feelings towards my in-laws. And I’m okay with that.

The 5 years of my husband and I dating was amazing. I had a whole new family and it was a great thing. Then we got married. The 6 years since has been non-stop judgment, drama, and just nonsense. I absolutely love him to death and don’t know how he is so normal. His family is just something else. Most recently the issue was with my SIL- my husband’s brother’s wife, who has always, in my humble opinion, been a lowclass trashy beeyotch. We came to a point where we found we could agree on something- complaints about our shared MIL. And suddenly the SIL didn’t seem so bad. Until she started posting shit about us on Facebook. Seriously, out of nowhere. It’s definitely possible that we did something to piss her off, but we really don’t know what it was. When we called to ask about it, she of course denied her post being about us. And she then posted again on FB about people making things about them and then posted very specific things that were without a doubt about our 2-year-old child. Really? You’re going to take the passive aggressive route? On Facebook? So I deleted her. And she threw a fit…”You UNFRIENDED ME?!?!?”. Yes bitch. I did. Facebook is not the be all and end all. It is a website. For being social. And I have no interest in socializing with that piece of garbage anymore than I have to.

It’s been 6 months and I’m no longer angry about the whole thing, but I saw a side of her that I just can’t forget. My mom tells me to “be an adult”. But I can’t bring myself to pretend to have any respect for the SIL. What she said about us isn’t the point- it’s just that she posted things publically for other shared family to see that was obviously about us. The phone calls we got about the posts before we saw them for ourselves asking if we’re okay were humiliating. You just don’t do that.

In-Laws on Facebook

My relationship with my SIL and her adult children has been strained for years. However, because we are all adults, when the SIL and one of her children requested to be friends with me on Facebook, I accepted. I figured they made the effort so could I.

Several months went by and while we rarely reciprocated with each other, I made sure to filter any of my updates they may find offensive. Again, for the sake of playing nice.

I just noticed that they have both now unfriended me. If it had been one of them, I could have seen it as a possible glitch. Both though has me wondering what the hell I did wrong this time to offend them.

I’m torn between asking them which I would hope cause some embarrassment; to not asking because I want to pretend I don’t even notice or care. It’s not like we interacted with each other. The only thing we have in common is that they are related to my husband. I’m angry, upset and even a bit humiliated since I knew it had to be a joint decision where I was the topic of a back-stabbing. And not knowing why makes my stomach clench.

My Place or Mine?

My husband’s sister (SIL), his niece (NIL) and the niece’s daughter (NILD) are coming to visit for the first time in over a year. They are staying at his other sister’s, (SIL2) who lives locally. Since I’ve recently become a SAHM and have a daughter the same age as NILD, I was expecting NIL to bring NILD over to our house to play one of the afternoons she is here…just because. I mean all my daughter’s toys are here and it would give NIL and myself a chance to catch up…

I found out that if I want to see NIL or NILD, I “have to go to her house”. I find this rather rude since my daughter is afraid of their dog and I’m allergic. I know I’m being self-centered since NIL and her daughter did travel to our city, but really? Why does SIL2 seem to think that her home has to be the hub of any interaction? I resent it.

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